Epidose 18 - Jam Bat Sonar

Throw open your curlews, gentlefolds, and behold the tremulous chirruping of damsel-pies in dewy-fronded distress.  What menacingly trite apparitions come emanating from yonder dismal crenels and merlons?  Be it bunyip?  Or quinkin?  Ebu Gogo?  Popobawa?  Oh, all of these, all of these crawling slimy things, all the nightmares that lay a clammy flap upon the prickling neck...

Listen Now.

All throughout the night come the wingtips of a moth to brush against the cheek, and the whispered sounds of:

• OOIOO - Gamel Uma Umo
• Silver Apples - Oscillations
• Marc Hollander - DBB (Double Bind Baby)
• Ant-Bee - Eating Chocolate Cake (In the Bath)
• Brothomstates - Qtio
• Bran Van 3000 - Stepchild

Troubled by unwanted quinkins dismantling your merlons?  Seek help from gcuesoterica@gmail.com who will be only too happy to advise otherwise.

Twenty minutes.  No refunds.

Epidose 17 - Boneseeker Beach Barbecue

On the summit skyline, a series of T-shapes in silhouette against thunderclouds. The bearded ones wander freely, unnoticed and undetected.  Is it such a terrible thing, this thing they do?  Since when has justice not allied herself to persecution?  Parking restriction notices are the impenetrable glyphs of the apocalypse.

Listen Now.

The warden comes a-wombling with his blackbook and pen, whistling the following jaunty melodies:

• Adrian Baker - Vibrations
• Gros Phoque Sergio - Fruits
• Ivor Cutler - I Worn My Elbows
• Mayo Thompson - Venus In The Morning
• Kuricorder Quartet - Apao's Trip
• Narcoleptics - Bombs Away
• Luke Abbott - 2nd 5th Heavy
• Grandaddy - Go Progress Chrome

Have you identified a troublesome bearded one in our very midst? Send what you know to gcuesoterica@gmail.com for your bounteous reward.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 16 - Narcissus In Nylons

The scale is wrong: the vanishing points inconsistent. The steps between notes form no tone or half-tone, the perspective is forced or false. Lunging crazily over the skyline, the lunatic figure of a kingkong wraithed in moth-tattered robes, thrusting stubby fingers up, up, towards the imagined chemtrails of poisonous radiation-dipped seagulls.

Listen Now.

These tendrils of sound will tantalise your earbuds like the ghostly fingers of a beckoning Lorelei:

• Jo Ann Castle - Tico Tico
• Captain Beefheart And His Magic Band - Diddy Wah Diddy
• Kathryn Tickell with The Demagogue Reacts - Techno Ate The Musicians
• Pisces - Motley Mary Ann
• Psalters - Red
• The Chills - Effloresce and Deliquesce
• Hatfield And The North - Share It
• Withered Hand - Heart Heart

Your dismay is my life-fuel.  Ram it down my neck at gcuesoterica@gmail.com.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 15 - A Curse of Pinks

A score of tortoise-shells are piled before the prince. Sand and salt spray lift from the waves, whip across the face, form a crust around the eyes and ears. Thunder rolls across the ocean; a watercolour painted in grey.

Listen Now.

Perform the incrustation, and you'll unleash these mighty molluscs:

• Harry Cox - What Will Become Of England?
• Pigeonhed - Who's To Blame?
• Mavis Staples - I Like The Things About Me
• Pigface - Fight The Power
• Yoshihiro Hanno - Prologue
• Luke Haines - Discomaniax
• Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes

Why not put pen to paper, write a long letter, fax it to yourself and then email a scanned photocopy of the result to gcuesoterica@gmail.com?

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 14 - Pongo and Engeco

Brexit came, and Turner the Worm was sick all over Donald Trump's face. "The conjunction of symbols at the vertex of chance is what the classical scholars called synchronicity." Yijing and yarrow float nebulously overhead and every course plotted seems full of ominous foreboding. Why needs must you tread on the tiger's tail?

Listen Now.

£0.10 for an audio tape cassette upon which you could engrave these magnetic glyphs:

• XXYYXX - About You
• Jacques - Roses For Ashes
• Howe Gelb - Tanks Rolling Into Town
• Kites - Suppress Control Reduce Destroy
• Yonin Bayashi - Hamaebe O
• Albatwitch - Nomads
• The Fugs - Wide, Wide River
• Alan Price - Time And Tide

Register your displeasure at gcuesoterica@gmail.com.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 13 - Graded Salience Hypothesis

On the table, a tightly-rolled ball of yarn trails its loose end towards a chipped red china coffee mug. The mug is half-full with milky coffee long-since gone cold, in fact it has been standing several days, and a thick film has developed on the surface.

Listen Now.

This gate opens onto a formal garden, replete with box hedges, Grecian urns, and the distant sounds of:

• Monks - Higgle-Dy Piggle-Dy
• Maxayn - Fun
• Asa-Chang & Junray - Hana
• Slapp Happy - Riding Tigers
• Slapp Happy - Some Questions About Hats
• Half Man Half Biscuit - Mileage Chart

Why not waft the sickening tang of your thoughtless comments to gcuesoterica@gmail.com.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 12 - A Song upon Alamoth

The cylinders spin, the gears mesh, and various degrees of parity drift in and out of phase like those sudden infinities born of mirrors in alignment. A persistent illness; one neither recovers nor dies. I fell asleep in the afternoon amidst gorse bushes' full flower.

Listen Now.

Pay attention to this list of magnetic dots which will cause the disparate vibrations:

• The Magickal Folk Of The Faraway Tree - Spencer
• Nobukazu Takemura - Ivory Tower
• Nurse With Wound - Easy Snapping
• The North Sea Scrolls - I'm Not The Man You Think I Am, Karen, I'm The Actor Tony Allen
• Brian Eno & John Cale - Been There, Done That
• Admiral Fallow - Subbuteo

The email is gcuesoterica@gmail.com if you like that.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.