Epidose 25 - GCU Yule Thank Me Later

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away. Andrew Ridgely's transplant unit hijinks on Boxing Day notwithstanding, we are pleased as plum duff to present this somewhat delayed selection box of seasonally-flavoured musical monstrosities for your consideration:

Listen Now.

Everyone enjoys Christmas music, don't they? Especially after Christmas Day itself, and really especially late in December, when it's been literally unavoidable for the better part of a month already? Here:

• The Troll - A Winter's Song
• Yuji Nomi - Nichijouppoi Christmas
• Coldcut - Coldcut's Christmas Break
• The Sonics - Don't Believe In Christmas
• Ice Cube - Put It In Ya Egg Nog
• Strangelette - Carol Of Cosmic Bells
• Holly Golightly - Christmas Tree's On Fire
• John Fahey - White Christmas

Holler your appreciation for these good works to the floating angel on high whose wings beat triplets against four-time: gcuesoterica@gmail.com.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 24 - Mildred & Patty

A year and a day ago, the first Epidose of Esoteric Music Lounge careened forth, lurching and uncontrollable, like a jellied emission coughed quivering from the clot-flecked and mucous lungs of a verminous shoulder-whisperer, its uncertain trajectory revealing little portent of the steamrollering cosmic uberforce it would shortly become.

Join us in a double-sized bumper birthday celebration, for a nostalgic look back at some of the choicest, chewiest, and least-most-wince-inducing cuts as served up for your very pleasure over the past three-hundred-sixty-odd days.

Listen Now.

In this Epidose, pay careful attention to the subtle interplay of trapstep, chutney, grindcore and eurotrance influences:

• The Doonicans - Drunken Pretender
• Frente! - Horrible
• Clair Obscur - K. G.
• Law Holt - Coins For You
• The Walker Brothers - Shutout
• Foetus Party - Joyeux Crack
• Edwin Birdsong - It Ain't No Fun Being A Welfare Recipient
• Ewan MacColl - Carlton Weaver
• Dave Burland - Haul Away For Rosie
• Pisces - Motley Mary Ann
• Brothomstates - Qtio
• Mighty Sparrow - Goaty
• Admiral Fallow - Subbuteo

Twenty minutes, times two. No refunds.

Epidose 23 - Flod In The Bunket

Imagine building an enormous sandwich packed full with all the world's rugs. That would take some serious eating. How big would one's mouth have to be to munch the ultimate rug sandwich? Pretty big mouth, I'm saying.  Spreading alternate layers of mayonnaise and mustard upon each rug before lifting the next carefully into place.

Listen Now.

Not all rugs are equal in size. It would be instructive to order them with the largest at the base. The modern world needs more wonders: behold, the Great Rug Pile of Prestonpans.

• Galoshins - The 4th Chord
• Raik's Progress - Sewer Rat Love Chant
• Los Marauders - Hell Will Come High Water
• Meredith Monk - I Don't Know
• Children Of Sunshine - Harmony
• XXYYXX ft Anneka - Overdone
• Eggs - Saturday's Cool

Concerned for the precarious sanity of your increasingly erratic podcast provider? Whisper sweet nothings into his gnarly orifice at gcuesoterica@gmail.com.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 22 - Ruff Duck

A foul wind blew from the west, and deathly silence fell across the land. Winter fell.  The ground hardened, crusted over with ice sheets as hard as granite. Our hearts needs must become as the speckled lights of a hundred million tiny candles each kept sheltered and nourished through neverending night.

Listen Now.

It's Britpop Memorial Day down on Jollity Farm, and the bells ring wide with the mellow tinkling sounds of:

• Manic Street Preachers - IfWhiteAmericaToldTheTruthForOneDayItsWorldWouldFallApart
• Mission Of Burma - Weatherbox
• Passenger Of Sh*t - Suck Worms Out My Farting C**t
• Alice Donut - What?
• Luke Haines - I Love The Sound Of Breaking Glass
• Jarvis Cocker - Running The World

Do not suffer the flame to be extinguished! It will be twenty long years before the wheel turns again. Whisper sweet words to gcuesoterica@gmail.com where the silence lies deeper than any root.

Twenty minutes.  No refunds.

Epidose 21 - Hollentide Revels

Hoppo, Stadlin, Hellwain, Puckle:
Mony's the mickle that macketh th' muckle.

Listen Now.

Firestone, Malkin, Jinny-the-Green,
The crones of the coven work curses unseen,
Work hexes of horror to succour your fears,
Deathly, the evil they bring to your ears:

• The Hare And The Moon - The Willows
• Twink with Steve Peregrine Took - The Coming Of The Other One
• Balzac - Beyond Evil 308
• Fred Myrow, Malcolm Seagrave - Phantasmagoria / Silver Sphere Disco (from Phantasm)
• The Mellomen - Trick Or Treat For Halloween
• Captain Beefheart - When I See Mommy I Feel Like A Mummy
• Blixa Bargeld, Nick Cave, Mick Harvey - Murder (from To Have And To Hold)
• The Mellomen - Trick Or Treat For Halloween (reprise)

Send your unwanted mickles to gcuesoterica@gmail.com; we're raising funds to purchase a muckle.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 20 - The Happenstance Way

The mist grows heavy, the cobblestones slicken and black, and treacherous rumours go murmuring along dark alleyways. Lantern candles amber the faces of wanton gargoyles, and polyvinyl curtains slap like sea-leather from cullis windows.  Out into this night ventures our hero, sideways-peeking behind from corner-folds, and yet though he does not pass unseen, by the gods he passes unnoticed...

Listen Now.

Pausing by a dismal doorway just long enough to find shelter from drizzle, he hears the drifting sounds of:

• The Ilk - Powerplant
• Kid Spatula - Shakermaker
• Maxïmo Park - Limassol
• Monitor - Amphibious
• The Kites - Bike Ride Pt. III
• Kimio Eto - Sakura, Sakura

Be vigilant! Whispered words may yet be dropped from eaves, treacherous rumours snagged upon concealed skyhooks.  Send your learnings to gcuesoterica@gmail.com for further analysis.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 19 - Crow, Dog, And Bobby Hogg

It is certainly impossible to think; impossible, really, to do anything at all.  Circularity inhabits the wheel, and sheer exhaustion is all that keeps us pushing it forward.  Had we only the energy to see it, we might then have the energy to stop.  Centuries are dust; civilizations only the marginal scribblings in a disregarded apocrypha, the footnotes to the appendix of a volume of inconsequential trivia.

Listen Now.

In the abandoned archive, a cobwebbed librarian is trying to make sense of the following messages:

• Negativland - Time Zones
• White Noise - Love Without Sound
• Circus Devils - Yellow Cloud
• Kiyoshi Kobayashi & The Gypsy Swing Gang - Sous Le Ciel De Tamagawa
• S*** And Shine - Seeing Life Through A Young Man's Eyes
• Law Holt - Coins For You
• Timber Timbre - Creep On Creepin' On

Troubled by unconvincing illusions of thought?  Send those vacillating empty ghosts of consciousness to gcuesoterica@gmail.com wherein they will be fittingly exorcised.

Twenty minutes.  No refunds.

Epidose 18 - Jam Bat Sonar

Throw open your curlews, gentlefolds, and behold the tremulous chirruping of damsel-pies in dewy-fronded distress.  What menacingly trite apparitions come emanating from yonder dismal crenels and merlons?  Be it bunyip?  Or quinkin?  Ebu Gogo?  Popobawa?  Oh, all of these, all of these crawling slimy things, all the nightmares that lay a clammy flap upon the prickling neck...

Listen Now.

All throughout the night come the wingtips of a moth to brush against the cheek, and the whispered sounds of:

• OOIOO - Gamel Uma Umo
• Silver Apples - Oscillations
• Marc Hollander - DBB (Double Bind Baby)
• Ant-Bee - Eating Chocolate Cake (In the Bath)
• Brothomstates - Qtio
• Bran Van 3000 - Stepchild

Troubled by unwanted quinkins dismantling your merlons?  Seek help from gcuesoterica@gmail.com who will be only too happy to advise otherwise.

Twenty minutes.  No refunds.

Epidose 17 - Boneseeker Beach Barbecue

On the summit skyline, a series of T-shapes in silhouette against thunderclouds. The bearded ones wander freely, unnoticed and undetected.  Is it such a terrible thing, this thing they do?  Since when has justice not allied herself to persecution?  Parking restriction notices are the impenetrable glyphs of the apocalypse.

Listen Now.

The warden comes a-wombling with his blackbook and pen, whistling the following jaunty melodies:

• Adrian Baker - Vibrations
• Gros Phoque Sergio - Fruits
• Ivor Cutler - I Worn My Elbows
• Mayo Thompson - Venus In The Morning
• Kuricorder Quartet - Apao's Trip
• Narcoleptics - Bombs Away
• Luke Abbott - 2nd 5th Heavy
• Grandaddy - Go Progress Chrome

Have you identified a troublesome bearded one in our very midst? Send what you know to gcuesoterica@gmail.com for your bounteous reward.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 16 - Narcissus In Nylons

The scale is wrong: the vanishing points inconsistent. The steps between notes form no tone or half-tone, the perspective is forced or false. Lunging crazily over the skyline, the lunatic figure of a kingkong wraithed in moth-tattered robes, thrusting stubby fingers up, up, towards the imagined chemtrails of poisonous radiation-dipped seagulls.

Listen Now.

These tendrils of sound will tantalise your earbuds like the ghostly fingers of a beckoning Lorelei:

• Jo Ann Castle - Tico Tico
• Captain Beefheart And His Magic Band - Diddy Wah Diddy
• Kathryn Tickell with The Demagogue Reacts - Techno Ate The Musicians
• Pisces - Motley Mary Ann
• Psalters - Red
• The Chills - Effloresce and Deliquesce
• Hatfield And The North - Share It
• Withered Hand - Heart Heart

Your dismay is my life-fuel.  Ram it down my neck at gcuesoterica@gmail.com.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 15 - A Curse of Pinks

A score of tortoise-shells are piled before the prince. Sand and salt spray lift from the waves, whip across the face, form a crust around the eyes and ears. Thunder rolls across the ocean; a watercolour painted in grey.

Listen Now.

Perform the incrustation, and you'll unleash these mighty molluscs:

• Harry Cox - What Will Become Of England?
• Pigeonhed - Who's To Blame?
• Mavis Staples - I Like The Things About Me
• Pigface - Fight The Power
• Yoshihiro Hanno - Prologue
• Luke Haines - Discomaniax
• Frank Zappa - Can't Afford No Shoes

Why not put pen to paper, write a long letter, fax it to yourself and then email a scanned photocopy of the result to gcuesoterica@gmail.com?

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 14 - Pongo and Engeco

Brexit came, and Turner the Worm was sick all over Donald Trump's face. "The conjunction of symbols at the vertex of chance is what the classical scholars called synchronicity." Yijing and yarrow float nebulously overhead and every course plotted seems full of ominous foreboding. Why needs must you tread on the tiger's tail?

Listen Now.

£0.10 for an audio tape cassette upon which you could engrave these magnetic glyphs:

• XXYYXX - About You
• Jacques - Roses For Ashes
• Howe Gelb - Tanks Rolling Into Town
• Kites - Suppress Control Reduce Destroy
• Yonin Bayashi - Hamaebe O
• Albatwitch - Nomads
• The Fugs - Wide, Wide River
• Alan Price - Time And Tide

Register your displeasure at gcuesoterica@gmail.com.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 13 - Graded Salience Hypothesis

On the table, a tightly-rolled ball of yarn trails its loose end towards a chipped red china coffee mug. The mug is half-full with milky coffee long-since gone cold, in fact it has been standing several days, and a thick film has developed on the surface.

Listen Now.

This gate opens onto a formal garden, replete with box hedges, Grecian urns, and the distant sounds of:

• Monks - Higgle-Dy Piggle-Dy
• Maxayn - Fun
• Asa-Chang & Junray - Hana
• Slapp Happy - Riding Tigers
• Slapp Happy - Some Questions About Hats
• Half Man Half Biscuit - Mileage Chart

Why not waft the sickening tang of your thoughtless comments to gcuesoterica@gmail.com.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 12 - A Song upon Alamoth

The cylinders spin, the gears mesh, and various degrees of parity drift in and out of phase like those sudden infinities born of mirrors in alignment. A persistent illness; one neither recovers nor dies. I fell asleep in the afternoon amidst gorse bushes' full flower.

Listen Now.

Pay attention to this list of magnetic dots which will cause the disparate vibrations:

• The Magickal Folk Of The Faraway Tree - Spencer
• Nobukazu Takemura - Ivory Tower
• Nurse With Wound - Easy Snapping
• The North Sea Scrolls - I'm Not The Man You Think I Am, Karen, I'm The Actor Tony Allen
• Brian Eno & John Cale - Been There, Done That
• Admiral Fallow - Subbuteo

The email is gcuesoterica@gmail.com if you like that.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 11 - Blast Zone Nyah!

Twice two is four, twice four is eight, twice cream is forty -- double top! My leg fell down a hole the other day before, but it was alright, because I broke it on a gerbil.  To conclude: there are uncomfortably too many different kinds of rodent in the world.

Listen Now.

In this Epidose, your senses will be lovingly enturbulated by the following rodents:

• Zoltán Kodály - Introitus (from Missa Brevis)
• Edwin Birdsong - It Ain't No Fun Being A Welfare Recipient
• Slicing Grandpa - Fence
• Auntie Horror Film - Now I See It All
• Shirley & Dolly Collins - Edi Beo Thu Hevene Quene
• Magnificent Freedom - F*** Off & Leave Me Alone
• The Amino Acids - Rocket To The Chest

You can email us -- it's never happened yet, but it's an option -- at gcuesoterica@gmail.com. Future installments of this podcast will be concerned with cataloging the different rodents.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 10 - This May Well Involve Your Monkey

I am undecided as to the colouration of my sofa. You might say it is the colour of English mustard, but you would never call it yellow. Neither do orange, brown, gold or green seem to fit. It is too vibrant to go by ochre, yet too muted as to appear bronze. Truly the world is a vexsome and irkative place!

Listen Now.

In this Epidose, you'll hear the following entertwinements:

• The Fall - Neighbourhood of Infinity
• Barclay James Harvest - Ball And Chain
• The Bags - She's Beautiful
• Helga Pogatschar - Mars
• The Incredible String Band - Little Cloud
• The Olivia Tremor Control - No Growing (Exegesis)

Suggestions, discursions, threats and diversions as always to gcuesoterica@gmail.com.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 9 - Prophet Motif

Hello again, you scrotty furtlers! Nam Rood liveth on in all our hearts, not to mention sheds, with grubby tips all still a-dangle from his inky forehead. But that's another tin of fetid maggots, to be saved for another dinner...

Listen Now.

We begin this time with two of the all-time most regrettable band name choices in recorded history:

• Kissing The Pink - Mr. Blunt
• Foetus Party - Joyeux Crack
• Master Scratch Band - Pocket
• Typhoon Tosh - Trespassing Satellite
• The Narcoleptics - High Over Glenelg
• Ewan MacColl & Peggy Seeger - Calton Weaver
• Withered Hand - Heart Heart

You can email gcuesoterica@gmail.com but I don't encourage it.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 8 - Chairlike Horse Talk

The pie is blue, the graph is green, and nothing new is ever as it seem, so hello again and welcome to another podcast! You join me as I'm shampooing my sofa with a loofah. Mostly just wear and tear, of course, but one can never be too careful...

Listen Now.

This time out I intend to assault and discomfit you in the following wise:

• Tudósok - Karcsi Ha Eszik
• Kirk Lake - Dementia Puglistica (Smith and Hughes Edit)
• Little Fyodor - Watching The Squirrels
• Sweetwater - Through An Old Storybook
• Trans Am - Firepoker
• Ras G & The Afrikan Space Program - Trying 2 Get Chips

Your insulting feedback as always to gcuesoterica@gmail.com, where the filter is set up to send everything received to trash.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 7 - Feather Duster Fever

Here we all are once again, gathered for a rummage through the dusty depths of my loose sock drawer. What's that fallen down the back there? Looks like a grunnet! Hey! I've a grunnet!

Oh... Never mind. It was only a wisbit...

Listen Now.

Have we had any Scott Walker on the podcast yet? Definitely need to rectify that, if not. This Epidose contains for your ear-nostrils the forthcoming hallucinatory granules:

• The Walker Brothers - Shutout
• Dot Allison - We're Only Science
• Grandaddy - Poisoned At Hartsy Thai Food
• Red Sun & SamulNori - Peaceful Question
• Marxman - No More Time
• Frank Zappa - Regyptian Strut

How is it going for you? What would you like to hear less of? How is the length? Send your tasteless suggestions to gcuesoterica@gmail.com where they will may be considered carefully before inevitable rejection.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 6 - Poppy The Invisible Sheep

Let's sneak out a quicky before the month closes, eh? A full twelth part of the year done with already, and what have we learnt? (Keep your hands from the firepit, lest ye get burnt.) Warning: this Epidose contains bad language (infrequent, strong) and novelty records (infrequent, lame.)

Listen Now.

In this action-packed Epidose:

• Frente! - Horrible
• St. Vincent - Chloe In The Afternoon
• Multiphonic Ensemble - Burlesque
• The North Sea Scrolls - The Morris Man Cometh
• Ashley Hutchings & Friends - Bonny Green Garters
• Inner City Unit - Space Invaders
• Neil - Hole In My Shoe
• Rainbow Ffolly - I'm So Happy

Indignation and condemnation to gcuesoterica@gmail.com.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 5 - Odin Do The Hump

Despite seemingly no reference to the fact, this Epidose is dedicated to the crows. The Scottish novelist Iain Banks, author of the Culture series, and novels such as The Wasp Factory and The Crow Road, passed away in 2013. His writings have been part of my life in a way that has left an indelible impact.

Listen Now.

This Epidose enpopsulates for your listeny clabbernostrils the fololloppy deep joy:

• Miranda Sex Garden - Ever And Ever
• The Fugs - The Ten Commandments
• Nobukazu Takemura - Fallslake
• Scott Walker - Light
• Ewan MacColl & Peggy Seeger - Oh Dear Me
• Venetian Snares - She
• Patty Waters - Moon, Don't Come Up Tonight

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 4 - The Serious Moonlight

This monthly podcast is for now managing a more-or-less weekly pace, but that is sure to drop away as I grow increasingly bored, tired and disillusioned with the whole thing. Today we learnt of David Bowie's death. This Epidose doesn't have any Bowie in it, but it does feature a special guest appearance from no less than Mr. John Lennon himself.

Listen Now.

In this Epidose:

• Corduroy - Goddamn
• Ápolók - Erdõszél
• Comus - Bitten
• Yoko Ono - Men Men Men
• Dave Burland - Haul Away For Rosie
• Belbury Poly - Unforgotten Town

Emails to gcuesoterica@gmail.com.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.

Epidose 3 - Glass Harps and Grunnions

Twenty-sixteen is sore upon us, and we've barely recovered from our revels enough to scrape together a new Esoteric Epidose. Warning: this Epidose contains very strong language, and scenes of Morris dancing which may be upsetting.

Listen Now.

In this Epidose, you will hear:

• Clair Obscur - K.G.
• Crucif***s - By The Door
• Godiego - Hungry House
• Nurse With Wound - Great - God - Father - Nieces
• Ashley Hutchings & Friends - The Postman's Knock
• The Future Sound Of London - Glass

Send your incensed opinion to gcuesoterica@gmail.com.

Twenty minutes. No refunds.